In Limbo

March 16, 2019

I've gone my whole life expecting to eventually land in my ideal life. Yet I continue to find myself in limbo and just when I stand my ground and demand better I find I'm back in limbo again. Maybe that's just my destiny but it seems like such a shame.

 

It was Plato who said, "the unexamined life is the life not worth living". Bam!

 

All it seems that I do is examine and re-examine my life and so it must be a life worth living right? I've been examined by others and taken their feedback as well and ultimately my life has been given a lot of thought.

 

So if my life is worth living shouldn't I stop being in limbo. 

 

Or maybe I'm not actually in limbo and it's just a perception I have. Do I put myself there? I mean things happen in life without our control and sometimes it really is like being on the other side of the wind if that's even possible.

 

All I know is that it feels like I'm in limbo and I have no control over it.

 

Did someone put me in limbo? Maybe.

 

Do others have control over my destiny? Probably.

 

It's not like a switch where you can just turn it on or off. You're either in limbo or you're not.

 

Yes, there have been times when I have had the peace of mind that I'm somewhere I belong but it doesn't seem to last. I continue to wait. 

 

Sometimes I take life by the horns and steer it with all my energy. I did that last weekend when I decided I was going to purchase a King size bed. I nearly drove myself crazy pursuing this decision. Nothing was going to stop me and even though I hit one complication after another I pushed through and went through every step successfully. Now I'm back in limbo waiting for the order and hoping I made the right selections.

 

Maybe for some there is not the issue of being in limbo because they've settled. They don't have to examine or think about anything because it's just the rut they've chosen and as long as it's familiar and comfortable then there's no awareness of any kind of calamity going on outside of their circle of life. 

 

Is that healthy?

 

I think I'd rather be in limbo than to have settled and not have any awareness and choose to stay in oblivion.

 

Maybe being in limbo gives me the freedom to be daring, take risks, climb mountains, feel feelings, experience new fresh ideas or listen to many kinds of music.

 

Yes, maybe being in limbo is my choice and keeps the uncertainty a big part of my human needs.

 

 

 

 

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